adieu, farewell 2008

new years eve-day is always a good one for reflecting on the past twelve months. so much has happened... i'll have to write down some highlights. let's start a new blog-chain of 2008 events! just kidding.


good riddance, 2008! helloooooo '09

a taste

what happened?

i left my dress on the floor by the couch.

then what?

i woke up next to a very peaceful looking body

and how did that make you feel?

like a gunshot wound


*


we went to the big grey greenhouse when we were fresh as all its contents. everything smelled so good; my nostrils, my face, my fingers—everything was full of life, full of light. you touched a big leaf and said, this looks like a good salad.

tag, everyone is always 'it'

ok so there's this thing everyone is yapping about with the tagging and the blogging and the writing (imagine me saying that in a really brooklyn-ie jewish voice). anyhow, the ever-lovely gena mohwish has 'tagged' me. sam pink also tagged me and i think he beat her to the punch, but she's a girl and sorry dude--chix before dix. here goes nothin.

1. this christmas i have vowed to seek out and destroy all people who hum in public. extra special treatment for extra-loud hummers ;)


2. today i was in line trying to buy a train ticket and this woman behind me yelled 'oh, this is the ticket line?! i thought you were all waiting for popppppcorn!'. (wtf?)


3. when i was eight i was playing baseball in the back yard with my dad and i hit a line drive into his nose. i ran towards him, yelling, 'i'm so sorry, daddy! i'm sorry! i'm sorry!' he looked up at me and smiled and said, 'good hit, sweetheart'.


4. last night i saw a man on the El wearing a bright gold wedding band and looking very sad. i tried for a while to make eye contact with him so i could mouth, 'i'm sorry'.


5. i'm really good at 'text twist' on yahoo! games.


6. i got you a present and it was a tiny pickle-ornament from the german market. when i handed it to you, you thought it was a joke and you laughed and threw it into a garbage can on clark street. i didn't say anything and i laughed, too. later i went back to try to find it in the garbage can but then thought i might look homeless, digging through garbage and all, and i gave up. that's the last god damned time i give you anything.


7. my lust for you is diamond-plated. that shit is forever.


i tag:
my dad
tracy brannstrom
ryan bradley
adam coates
shane jones
michelle labedz
dj berndt

i am so lazy and not going to link those people so too bad.

EDIT: if you don't know what this is, since i didn't really explain, write seven things about yourself and then tag seven people.

i am compiling for a chapbook. i feel excited. what do you feel?

also

new lamination colony has been out for like a week i think.

i just read gena's poem and it was kickass. hi, gena.

read the other stuff too

it has snowed i think a little over half a foot in the last few days, and snow is forecasted for the whole weekend.

i am excited.

everyone in chicago complains about the snow, but that's only because they're dumb and drive cars. they should just cross-country ski to work, instead. then maybe chicago wouldn't be the fattest city in america.

the snow has left me feeling inspired. i am excited. bring it on 'climate change'. white christmas.


i got a good idea for a story last night. today i will start to write it. i just decided that when i wrote it but now i feel all the more motivated because of that sentence.

snowball fights!

ramblepost

astronomical distances
rain
sleet
snow
ubearable humidity
relatively unbearable
darkness
car rides
this cold city
bodies rotating together or apart
in the morning sleepy kisses
stay
becoming a little less revealing for you
becoming a little more for everything else
i have or will become things and places
i have traveled in a fantasy
i have calculated the distance from your ankles to my mouth
(it is far)
wine
kissing
finger touching
sleeping
slipping teetering falling
laughing
subtracting
gambling
flowing a river of blood
drinking your bone marrow when i was sick of feeling mean and thirsty
hurting
sick by only some standards
alone by no means
alone at the counter
by the bathroom watching people kiss and then feeling lousy
(why did you do that?)
i'm glad we are friends
i wish we were more than just friends
you are in love for the first time
all those old callouses slough off the skin of the past
you are in love for the first time and you are excited
you appear apathetic
our relationship will change or remain the same
everything will come full circle
full oval
full cylinder
full square
in the morning my anxiety gets lazy and i feel existential serenity
i increase throughout the day and by nightfall i am terrified of the darkness
i stole a clementine from your apartment and it struck me as falsely romantic
i feel a little false a lot romantic
the shade of your shirt is exquisitve
curves and shapes become confusing
i lie on the floor and become disoriented staring at the back of your head
(you have nice hair; that is important)
green trees streets evergreen aroma
contentedness solitude despair no none today or at least not yet
not consistent enough to be manic
you kissed me in public and i felt alarmed

to the top of the hancock, wine drunk and gazing out over our expansive kingdom; everything seems so small when you're way up high

we drew out plans but the inks with which the letters and lines were drawn were only semi-permanent



fleeting december steam only makes this life tinier to us, tinier and more urgent and impossible



cocktails drinks beers and candles, the floor feels like a gymnasium trampoline, you look unimpressed



we can make everything come to life if we draw it well enough and love it long enough

Reddi Whip me into a frenzy.


i need a haircut.


let's do all the tiny intimate things i fantasize about constantly.


you would put your book-pages down on your extended legs and smoke and watch me writing at the roll-top and i would feel romantically unfulfilled and not look back at you until i heard your eyes shimmering with your back to the wall of my bedroom.


there is no need to draw lines.


today i wash my hair for you. maybe.


sometimes i stare at plants and wonder if they have feelings or if they would scream if we were to touch them or cut them and we just can't hear.


i drink and then have bad handwriting and i tend to drink and then write.


i feel bad and good to see you.

i feel good.

i look forward to it.

i experience sensations of worry and regret constantly.


you are pretty and you are snow and you are sad and you are my muse.


you are a desert and i grow on you despite all odds.

i like you but you're full of grammatical errors