astronomical distances
rain
sleet
snow
ubearable humidity
relatively unbearable
darkness
car rides
this cold city
bodies rotating together or apart
in the morning sleepy kisses
stay
becoming a little less revealing for you
becoming a little more for everything else
i have or will become things and places
i have traveled in a fantasy
i have calculated the distance from your ankles to my mouth
(it is far)
wine
kissing
finger touching
sleeping
slipping teetering falling
laughing
subtracting
gambling
flowing a river of blood
drinking your bone marrow when i was sick of feeling mean and thirsty
hurting
sick by only some standards
alone by no means
alone at the counter
by the bathroom watching people kiss and then feeling lousy
(why did you do that?)
i'm glad we are friends
i wish we were more than just friends
you are in love for the first time
all those old callouses slough off the skin of the past
you are in love for the first time and you are excited
you appear apathetic
our relationship will change or remain the same
everything will come full circle
full oval
full cylinder
full square
in the morning my anxiety gets lazy and i feel existential serenity
i increase throughout the day and by nightfall i am terrified of the darkness
i stole a clementine from your apartment and it struck me as falsely romantic
i feel a little false a lot romantic
the shade of your shirt is exquisite
curves and shapes become confusing
i lie on the floor and become disoriented staring at the back of your head
(you have nice hair; that is important)
green trees streets evergreen aroma
contentedness solitude despair no none today or at least not yet
not consistent enough to be manic
you kissed me in public and i felt alarmed
12.16.2008
ramblepost
12.14.2008
12.08.2008
we drew out plans but the inks with which the letters and lines were drawn were only semi-permanent
fleeting december steam only makes this life tinier to us, tinier and more urgent and impossible
cocktails drinks beers and candles, the floor feels like a gymnasium trampoline, you look unimpressed
we can make everything come to life if we draw it well enough and love it long enough
12.07.2008
Reddi Whip me into a frenzy.
i need a haircut.
let's do all the tiny intimate things i fantasize about constantly.
you would put your book-pages down on your extended legs and smoke and watch me writing at the roll-top and i would feel romantically unfulfilled and not look back at you until i heard your eyes shimmering with your back to the wall of my bedroom.
there is no need to draw lines.
today i wash my hair for you. maybe.
sometimes i stare at plants and wonder if they have feelings or if they would scream if we were to touch them or cut them and we just can't hear.
i drink and then have bad handwriting and i tend to drink and then write.
i feel bad and good to see you.
i feel good.
i look forward to it.
i experience sensations of worry and regret constantly.
you are pretty and you are snow and you are sad and you are my muse.
you are a desert and i grow on you despite all odds.